Pass the Sugar: Pig-headed striker stokes tensions after prank

THE WRAP
Nanjing Night Net

Te’o tests NRL integrity unit … Parramatta Stadium set for upgrade … Warner Twit for six … Deans snubs Quade … Holger calls for Dad’s Army.

NO IRISH JOKE THIS TIME

Stoke City striker Kenwyne Jones was on the receiving end of a practical joke last week when he discovered a severed pig’s head in his locker and he was quick to seek revenge. Though, it was aimed at the wrong person. Jones reacted with fury and haste when he thought his Irish teammate Glen Whelan was responsible for the joke and responded by smashing the windscreen of his car. Jones was left red-faced when he realised Whelan was not involved in the pig’s head debacle and was forced to make a rather embarrassing public apology. ”For all the people that think that the pig’s head wrapped in my clothes was banter, great, so is the broken window. I’ve apologised to Glenn Whelan for the destruction of his property. As far as tension in the squad there’s none – myself and Whelan had our thrash-out and he said it wasn’t him so I apologised and I’m paying for it,” Jones said. The original prankster remains at large.

FORGETTABLE PLAY

Memphis Grizzlies Jerryd Bayless had a performance to forget against San Antonio Spurs in game one of their NBA Western Conference play-off, so much so even his coach forgot his name. Whether it was fatigue or frustration, Lionel Hollins couldn’t remember the name of his point guard during the live media conference. After a long pause and a few awkward facial expressions, Hollins eventually found it after searching through the score sheet.

TEETH PULLED

There’s been a foul taste in the mouth of supporters of bottom-placed Argentine club Argentinos Juniors and it seems only natural that they would want to share that with their coach. After their 3-1 loss to Belgrano, fans began calling coach Ricardo Caruso Lombardi ”toothless” and one outraged elderly supporter threw his dentures at the under-performing coach. The senior supporter had a perfect aim as his false teeth landed squarely on Lombardi and captured the attention of the camera crews. After one supporter displaying a more literal interpretation of the insults of ”toothless”, Caruso Lombardi’s defiant statement in response may not have been the wisest. ”If we have to go we’ll do it with our head held high. They’ll have to take this team away in an ambulance.”

FOLLOW THE RABBIT

Perhaps this dog was trained too well. A challenging greyhound, Bocca, in race five at Richmond on Wednesday night had a strong eye for the bunny and that proved to be a disaster when a real rabbit appeared on the side of the track.

Bocca bolted off-course and derailed a few other runners on its pursuit for the real deal.

IF YOU’RE NOT WATCHING SPORT, YOU SHOULD BE LISTENING TO …

Trouble Will Find Me. The National. It’s The National, what more do you need to know? After listening to this, why not make a weekend of it and get out High Violet and recreate their performance at MOMA PS1 in New York where they played Sorrow 108 times (including an encore) over six hours. @EarsMcEvoy

IT’S NOT A MONKEY RIDING A GREYHOUND, BUT YOU’LL LIKE IT …

Ever wanted to rock climb but too afraid to crease your shirt? Perhaps you should try extreme ironing. The English activity gives ”the thrill of danger with the satisfaction of a pressed shirt”. Whether it’s kayaking, canyoning, rock climbing, abseiling or skydiving, thrillseekers are bringing their iron and board along for the ride. Search: Extreme ironing.

This story Administrator ready to work first appeared on Nanjing Night Net.